Thursday, April 30, 2009

I'm into You

What a glorious day. 

I have some errands to run, cleaning to do, and the sunday school lesson to plan. First, I want to hear from You Lord. Oh, I can't run any errands because DH has my car (I can't wait to see what you have in store for his next truck) 

Just the cleaning, the planning and You.  

(Be back in a sec....reading Matthew 24.)

Wow. Where have I just been. After reading Matthew 24, I immediately thought of how much I have been hearing about, watching videos about and wondering about Tribualtion, Rapture and the return of Jesus Christ. I have never been fond of studying this. I have always thought that it is confusing gloom and doom that has a happy ending and that if I am going to study the Bible I should spend my time studying everything else. 

Lately, the subject is all around me. Including,  my study group who picked a DVD that covers this topic in a way that relates to the 7's fascinating. Besides, I know that anything that is in His Book is His Word and therefore important.  On a side note, isn't it amazing how God can tell you one thing through His word at one time in your life, and then months or years later, you can read the same scripture and it can mean something totally different to you. Further revelation, right?

Back on topic, then I thought "I asked to hear from You, what are you telling me?"

 I re-read the verse in a couple of different translations [thank you    for your unending usefulness]. 

Again, I pondered what am I to get out of this, How should I apply it to my life?  Feeling (what I thought was) lazy and uninspired, I try to google the answer.  Do you know what I found?  Some posting from the Baha`i faith came up in relation to Matthew 24. I have briefly heard of this world religion, but never looked into it much. Learning about  Bahá'u'lláh was interesting--a little scary, but God just told me not to be afraid in His Good Book. Now, that I just received a short yet enlightening and real-life lesson on matt 24....I am back to wondering what else is God trying to tell me. This is what I think it is-- some things that I already knew but needed a refresher on:
-Don't be deceived by false teachings, false prophets [I trust in You alone]
-Know that the events have to happen [I don't want to watch, I am ready to meet you, but I don't want to see people suffer, nations crumble]
-Don't be alarmed or afraid [I give this to You]
-Be prepared to be persecuted and unloved [more?]
-Stand firm on and share the Gospel [i try to share the gospel by the way I live my life, and I know that Your love shines through, but I need to share more of your word]
-The time is unknown and is not known by anyone except for the Father [thank goodness]
-Be Good, Do good even when or especially when no one (but God) is looking/listening/watching [yes, I need to work on my time glorifying you more --in my wifeyness, in my parenting, in my house duties, in my quiet (what is that) time]

Thank you God. I know that I needed to hear these things. Please be with me and help me as I try to work on the things You have showed me. I love you. 

Monday, April 27, 2009

My Home

Dear God, 
When I prayed for a husband, you met my need and answered my prayer. You brought my DH to me. He was every bit the man that I prayed for in accordance with my list. You, Lord, gave me the desires of my heart. 

I come to you with the faith that knows you will do it again--you will give me the desire of my heart. I have a loving DH, a super wonderful DD, and a fabulously fun DS, but we don't have a real home. We have hopped around from house to house. Never completely settled. We haven't known where we will live next. I am weary of this. I want a home. A home that we will put photos on the wall, write on the walls as the children grow, have friends and family over--frequently, make lots of memories in, buy furniture for. Please Lord hear my cry. I want to be homekeeper. I am at a place where I need that stability for me, my marriage, my kids. Lord, I know that you are more than enough.   I want to be able to serve you more, be a better wife and homemaker, and better mother. I have this longing for a home with visions of your peace and comfort and will radiating through it. I believe it is an earthly home--my earthly home, and it has purpose that reaches beyond my little family into your kingdom. Lord, I know that you have this home for me--let me find it. I pray that you touch DH with understanding on this matter. I pray that DH has the same desire. I truly ache for a home (probably really just the stability that a home would bring). There was a time when I just loved moving, but that excitement of the unfamiliar has morphed into an uneasiness and stressful anxiety of the unknown.  I have been stuck in some weird limbo where I just wait on the promises of my DH to come to fruition. Please Bring me and my family to our new home. I pray that it is a happy, blessed, anointed home. Thank you God. I eagerly await what you have in store for my family. 
I love you. I want to be with you more. I want people to see more of you and less of me in me. I want to bless others. I want to make sure that when I meet you face to face that you know me and say to me "well done thy good and faithful servant"
On a separate but related note, this is what I want in a home....

at least 5 acres

I know that DH wants a covered wrap around porch

a user friendly kitchen with lots of counterspace, a working dishwasher, a cooperative oven and stovetop, an easy use/clean fridge, at least one window, plenty of usable storage space, a great microwave

a master bedroom with its own bathroom, nightstands next to the bed with lamps, a large trunk/bench at the foot of the bed, chest of drawers, lots of closet space

a great girlie room

an awesome boy room

a dining room, a living room with beautiful blue couches and big windows decorated our way, a place to sing/play instruments/dance/worship as a family

a cozy space that will work well for arts & crafts and supply storage  and as an office and library

a laundry room (or have the washer and dryer in the garage) with utility sink

some kind of storage (shed or attic)

a place for guests 

at least one GREAT tree

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I fell off the wagon

OH, I feel terrible today.
So, I wasn't feeling happy yesterday, but I wasn't biting off anyone's head. It was emotional. My boy hurt himself--badly. All I wanted was comfort, but I didn't get it. I have been feeling kinda blah all week. I haven't been able to get much done. I don't want to go into public. I want to have some free time. I feel ........

My DH, calls me ........ He said he likes my crochet.........

When I feel that way.................I have to fight for my life in a way that most folks would not understand. It's an internal struggle that I can't remember not having. I pray that it goes away. I call out to God and He comforts me, but oh if it could just GO.

I have been dieting with much success, but today I fell off the wagon. And have made the conscious decision to keep on eating/drinking whatever I feel like today.

No, food has not made me feel any better, but at least I am cleaning out the fridge.


Big Sigh

I need a break. some kind of break.

I am so upset at me. I have been so good at my diet. I can be good again tomorrow, please God be with me as you have been with me. Change my stinking thinking to kingdom wisdom.

Friday, April 3, 2009

The mechanic

Yesterday, we took the car to get the brakes fixed and the recommended maintenance for 100,000 miles. When I got the car back and was driving it home, I felt like I had a new car again. 

I immediately thought of salvation. 

When we are fresh from heaven little babies, we are NEW and all though we are born into a world of sin--we don't yet know sin. Through life, we get our wear and tear, and we sin. We become broken (hearted) and unpleasant for others to be around. 

However, once we go the Great Mechanic. He makes us like new! We are a new creation in Christ! 

Just my random thoughts about how much God loves us not only to save us, but enough to fix us. 

 I have always been a mechanic's daughter, but now I know I am also THE Mechanic's daughter.